“Homophobia’s still there even if not to the same degree”: Fighting Hate Crime against people from LGBTQ+ communities

This blog contains discriminatory language and content that some may find offensive. Some words have been amended to ensure accessibility for all. Connected Voice condemns any discriminatory abuse and supports victims on a one-to-one basis through its Advocacy projects.

 

Whilst there is much to celebrate during LGBTQ+ History Month and it is important to mark how far we have come in protecting the rights of people from LGBTQ+ communities, it is also a time to remember that there is still work to be done to ensure no-one is discriminated against or subject to Hate Crime. Sherene Meir, our Hate Crime Advocate, interviewed George (name changed to protect his anonymity), who was referred to the service. He talks about his life as a gay man over the last 50 years or so and his recent experiences of homophobic hate crime.

Sherene: How has homophobia affected you in the past?

George: When I first came out I was 15, it was 1967. When I first started going to the only gay pub in Newcastle I knew I belonged really and you were looked after there. I think the frightening thing was as these places closed down late at night there were other drunks on the street and as the pub was known you’d find troublemakers waiting for you and you’d find police there waiting. The police weren’t effective in any way – if anything they were aggressive against you. It made me very afraid and insular and it was like living two lives – my home life was different because my parents and family didn’t know and wouldn’t have been very sympathetic because I came from a mining background where men are in charge and women do the dishes. You also had to make sure you didn’t exhibit anything effeminate in your stance and the way you spoke.

How did it affect your relationships?

I met my first partner in the 1970s. It was hard to get somewhere to live and we had to pretend we were brothers. We moved 17 or 18 times. We had graffiti on the door, windows smashed, tyres slashed, people saying things outside our door. When it came to buying a place we couldn’t buy it as a couple - it had to be one of us. That caused a lot of problems later when he died and I was trying to sort things out – who owned what and who had rights to what. There was lots of problems although the mortgage was in my name. His parents probably knew what we were but it was never spoken about and they tried to claim half the house. Because I had no rights there was no civil partnership and I couldn’t register the death without saying I was present at the death. His parents took what I felt was my right to organise the funeral. They did invite me but in a minor role. I met my second partner after 5 years and we’ve lived together for about 18 years now. The same thing happened again. We didn’t say we were brothers but we didn’t say we were gay. We did move frequently but we bought property then. We moved 5 times. Not all due to homophobic attitudes but when you feel people are getting to know too much about you, you feel threatened and you move on. There’s the constant fear you’ll be outed and those previous experiences of verbal and physical abuse will start again.

What effect has experiencing homophobic abuse recently had on you?

We moved in here 3 and a half years ago. 3 years ago neighbours moved in who we had trouble with. They’d have late night parties and throw bottles over and called us ‘f**king queers’. I contacted the police and they said that it wasn’t a crime because it was from the confines of their garden which was classed as being part of their house. Slowly over the years I had become a bit more confident that I was protected under the law. It came as a great shock and it’s still a great shock that I’m not always protected. I’m disabled now and I’m in the house a lot. I used to feel very safe in the house but now I’m frightened here and frightened to go out apart from going to the doctors and taking the dog out. I try to go when I think the neighbour won’t be there; him and his son spit on me. 20 years ago I would have stood a chance of defending myself going out but now I can’t and it terrifies me. You think you left it behind and suddenly it brings it all back. I was a lot younger then so I could cope with it. I could defend myself verbally and physically. This has taken the gains I’ve made away from me and it’s taken part of my life away from me. I’m always looking for the pitfalls which may not even be there but I see them.

In what ways has the situation changed regarding attitudes to sexuality?

I always felt it was getting better and although there’ll always be a small cluster of people who will hate you for what you are, I felt I was moving forward. Actually homophobia’s still there even if not to the same degree. It’s 50 years since I started going out and being gay. I think prejudice has a direct effect on your character and nature because you have to subdue a lot of what you are unless you’re behind closed doors. Most of the neighbours have been supportive here but this situation’s made me regress because I feel like I have to be more protective. I felt like I made progress because I was showing more of myself to the world but now I’m going out less. It really messes with your head. I’m questioning the authorities and how much support there is now - laws are there to protect people and I don’t know whose fault is it but I don’t feel like that’s been happening.

What would you say to services supporting victims of hate crime and to people dealing with similar situations?

To services I’d say you need to remember you’re dealing with disadvantaged and vulnerable people. It’s important that people are treated at the right pitch or you leave them behind. You need to make sure people understand the information you’re giving them – a lot of people are so embarrassed about the situation or struggle to articulate how they feel and just acquiesce. Things tend to go out of their hands then. 

For other victims I’d say you have to remain resolute. You have to wake up every morning and start fresh and remind yourself why you’re pursuing it. I know in a few months if I don’t push for things to get dealt with now I’ll have regrets about myself and ask why I’ve not done it. It’s really easy to feel guilty and start blaming yourself.

 

We’d like to thank George for taking the time to give us his story. Although there are still ongoing issues yet to be resolved, as a result of accessing our Hate Crime Advocacy Service:

• Further enforcement steps have been taken by the local authority against the perpetrators
• The responses by the local authority to his case are being reviewed.
• George has been offered some compensation.

To find out more go to our Hate Crime Advocacy Service 

To refer yourself or someone else to this or any of our Community Advocacy Services go to Refer to us